Michael Stocker
In my family, my Father supplied the food and shelter and my Mother tended the home and prepared the food. The agreement they had regarding their family roles instilled in me the understanding that men are providers and women are nurturers. Due to my Mother’s continuous presence around our home she also cared for me when I was hurt or sick, so naturally I accepted her role – and the role of all women as healers. I have tacitly accepted this role, looking to women when I needed to be healed. I didn’t expect men to be healers. As a man, I usually avoided men when I was weak and vulnerable – a caution I learned from the territories of business.
This all changed recently when I went through a deep emotional trauma. The women I went to could comfort me but couldn’t really grasp the texture of a man’s emotional landscape. It was then that I encountered the deep healing power of men.
The man who came to heal me was someone I least expected to be a healer; a hard drinking, heavy smoking commercial producer in Hollywood. In the course of working with him I told him of my predicament. One evening after dinner he reached out to me to let me know that he understood where I was – he had also been there. He revealed his tender heart letting me know that I was not alone; that he – and all men – are vulnerable and that our innate courage and fraternity can pull us through.
I realized at that point that a large part of my healing came from finally understanding that men as well as women are healers; that men carry a different medicine than women –just as powerful and just as important. We need to honor this medicine if we want to become whole, healthy people.
Aho!
Michael Stocker